My Simulacrum

i dont mean to be meaaann! but please get the hell outta my face! iihh gw kadang-kadang suka bingung deh gimana bilangnya, sama sales sales, iya iya gw tau they’re just tryin to some find money from it, but pleaseeeeeeeeee just shut the hell out when we just dont want it!! hhh…hhh..hhh sering banget kaya begono, ada yg maksa, ada yg tetep ngomong aja walopun udah bilang ga tertarik sama barangnya, ada yang mungkin udah ngerti kita ga mau, terus dia pergi, tapi sumpe deh jarang bgt yg kaya kategori ketiga itu…

entah apa gw nya yg lg moody dan esmosian tp gimana yah akhir-akhir ini emang lagi fluktuasi aja mood nya, mungkin karena kurang tidur juga kali yah? ga bisa tdr jg karena escaping mulu maen game online, sadar kalo gw harus ngerjain skripsi, tapi sadar juga kalo udah ga tau mau nulis apa lagi dan sadar juga akan kemalesan gw ngebayangin yang bakal kejadian kalo "ibu" meriksa, i just cant take another of it… gw udah terlalu lama berkutat sama skripshit ini, ya gw tau mungkin gw nya sendiri yang bikin ngelamain, but what can i do? 

iyaaaaaaahhh suka deh pake flock sekarang-sekarang hehehe… direcommend sama temen gw di game online, dia blg crash nya ga ada, dan lebih cepet! emang iyaaa ternyata, hohohoh….

 adapun kelebihannya antara lain:

  1. bagi anda, blogger, dpt dgn mudahnya untuk blogging, karena sudah disediakan menu di side bar kiri, untuk mulai blogging kapan pun yg anda inginkan, (salah satu nya yang sedang saya gunakan ini, hehehe)

 2. side bar yg berada disebelah kiri anda, akan memudahkan anda dlm berbagai hal, salah satu nya untuk mengingatkan account and services dgn tampilan yg menarik

 3. bagi anda yg ingin mencari foto2 atau media lain, dpt dgn mudahnya menekan icon mediabar

 4. anda juga bisa membuka pages yang anda ingin baca kapanpun anda mau dgn mengunakan clipboard sidebar  yaitu cukup dgn  men-drag page yg anda ingin liat kembali ke clipboard sidebar

5. Bagi pengguna Facebook, MySpace, Digg, YouTube, Flickr, dan Twitter bisa dengan mudahnya untuk login ke page tersebut karena sudah disediakan di side bar

 all in all, i love using Flock! (^_^)/" wheeeeeeeeheee…. and for those who’s interested in using it, then you can just download it here: flock.com

April, 4th 2009, Saturday Night, 08:10 PM

it was a pleasant shower, oh wait a minute, please put away those dirty thoughts of me playin with myself while i was in the shower, but it was bcuz i was so tired (still am) and it just felt nice afterwards, i had my aerobics class today, and it wasnt so goooooddd, cuz i kinda messed some moves up, so it just wasnt so good, but it was okay, at least i was so worn out, i felt good, though, and right now, i am so tired, and kinda sleepy, but i wanna stay awake….. about going for an aerobic, lotsa people might have this thought of gettin a slim and sexy body, well, actually thats not the whole point, i can say that the main point is just bein healthy, moving some part of your body, it keeps you healthy, and the sexy and slim body are just gonna be the secondary advantage of being healthy. I was being asked by someone of my relative, she said, why do you go for a gym? to shape up your body? to satisfy every guy’s eyes? to what, then? and i was thinking, shesshh, come on, girl, dont be so that cheap, going to gym, or aerobic or any exercises thingies are not really a goddamn main point for the sake of those jerks, ever think of taking caring and loving yourself by keeping yourself as healthy as it can be? and why are these things coming into my mind while i myself just doin the opposite? (>.<)/" well at least i am now workin on it, i just wanna be healthy, as healthy as a sick horse!

but whyyy in the world would i metaphor myself as a horse? ayayaaa, oh well, cuz horse look strong, and fast, and just so healthy, okie maybe not the old and rusty horse, just the young and strong horse, speaking about horse, Epona, the Horse Goddess, was a protector of horses, donkeys and mules. She was particularly a goddess of fertility, as shown by her attributes of a patera, cornucopia and the presence of foals in some sculptures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epona) So Epona was a horse goddes, see there was even a goddes for horses, goddes itself bein identified as supernatural female beings in some religions, worshiped as the personification or controller of some aspect of the universe (from Microsoft®Encarta® 2008. © 1993-2007 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved) and goddess is in every female, its in you, yes you, girl! okie i think i gotta stop this crap, too sleepyyyy

hmmmm i cant say that this is my first time starting to make a blog, it just that.. i dont know , writing is not my thingy, and im more like a verbal person rather than just putting some words in a document sheet, but somehow i do have somethin goin on my mind, and thats the time i started to think of making it in real, and also knowing the fact that im no good writer so forgive my inappropiate languages in here, and sometimes it might in bilingual mode and it might also be talking about movies, since im kinda a movieholic but uuuuhh oh wait, wait a minute , this is my fucking blog! i do write what i wanna wriiiteee wheeeeee okie then, so yeah here it is…

April 3rd 2009, Friday, 10:32 PM

 I just came back from a movie, Defiance (good movie, btw), which actually i was supposed to be stuck in front of my lappy, workin on my thesis, aaahhh bad wordddd, not that shit again! yeah i know im kinda avoiding it, well who wouldnt?!?? its been like almost a year just to finish some chapters! and till now it hasnt finished yet! maybe im not giving my best, YET, but hey i do need some support, and i do not need some fuckin delays with those some mental stupid game askin away this and that, come on! moooovveee the fuuuckk onn!!!! yeah im pissed… im so fuckin tired of doin this, but i know this the path i must go on with…. hhhhhh……hhhhhhhhh…. dammit….

 I do aware that i have no time for horsing around, but this is my escape, my kinda fucking sweet escape, which i’ve been wasting too much on it, and now im gonna have to get the hell outta there, and somehow that times like this, i do feel like… im alone, i realize that everyone has their own things to do, their lifes and jobs and else, and i miss the accompany of them, their existence to bein next to me, i need their help on this.. i cant be alone, well human cant really be an independent persona, its like it takes two to tango, people cant just live individually, cuz we do live in sosial circle, we dont live in Mars well i bet whatever on Mars cant even live alone, what im trying to say is, its really frustrated bein alone, well yeah theres nothin wrong bein alone, though, it just..its tiring that you need to deny it, that you’re strong in doin things, that you’re independent, that you can just cover things by yourself, well its good if you can do those stuff, i can do it, it just i prefer not…

 well enough complaining, now i think i gotta do somethin to make it real, thesis awaits… sometimes i wonder why in the world would i have to choose this topic? well i can say i do concern with whatever bein happened to women, well i am a woman, but this struggle of women, it just too insane, it counters the mainstream, revolution is crazy, its as crazy as the system that exists, oh well i gotta cut the crap, im gonna have to just finish it all! aaaaaaaaaarrggghhhhhh